Tomorrow is the day.

I have surgery tomorrow. I check in first thing in the morning...5:45 am. Early. Then they wheel my in exactly at 7:30am. I'm the first appointment of the day. I guess I have kinda found a calm. I have been having a lot of anxiety lately but in the last few days I have accepted my surgery. Don't get me wrong I'm not jumping around excited for my surgery but I've accepted it's going to happen and I'll get better afterwards and that in order to get better I have to go through this trial.

This trial... I was thinking about it all. Here I am always doing crazy things like skydiving, riding motorcycles, taking risks. And this surgery has less risk than some of those other things. So why do I feel so upset about this? I figured it is because I don't have any control over the situation. But my surgon has alot of experience and the nurses are very skilled.

I appreciate all the prayers and love and all the fantastic support!!! Here I go. Wish me luck.



All my love!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo-->

-AP

Don't worry.

I had dinner with my Dad and sisters last night. It was great. On the way home my Dad mentioned that he doesn't read my blog any more. When I asked him why his response was, "It's too hard to read." I never thought about that. Here I am writing about my pain and the things I deal with and I never thought of the impact it would have on those who care about me. To see or hear about someone you care about in so much pain and having to go through something scary can hurt you too.

Don't worry though. I'm a trooper. When I find my self afraid I will master my fear. Knowing that Courage isn't the absence of fear, but even with fear doing what you need to do, and moving forward is courage.

I take strength humor and love from all of you around me. When I write or speak about how I am hurting or struggling know that it isn't forever. And if you see me looking weak after my surgery know that with each day I will get stronger and heal.

Don't worry.

All my love,
-AP

Surg Update

So I have the surg date. Jan 24th. I get wheeled in bright and shiny in the morning. Oi. I'm trying to master my fear and have courage...it's a little hard though. I haven't had a drop attack in a while but my other symptoms have been overwhelming lately. So I have been keeping busy getting all the necc paper work done and making sure that every thing that needs to be ready is ready. I guess it's my way of coping. They say that I will be in my own room Friday late morning early afternoon. So I should be able to have visitors when I'm in my own room. Here is a bit more info...To contact a patient or get patient room information, call (507) 255-5123.Visiting Hours8 a.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Any questions or comments?